Natural redhead. Former ugly duckling. Mutant and proud, even if I don't publicize it. If you're not with me, you're against me. But I bet I could change your mind.
I take personal offense to that on behalf of Ozzie.
Really? A lawyer? I should be a phone-in psychic or something, that was just a shot in the dark.
Be sure to give him my condolences on the decline of his mental health. And tell him that some Mozart would probably do him some good.
Oh no, you misunderstood me. I never said you were right about my occupation, I only said that you were right about the way I looked in a pencil skirt. There’s quite the difference.
You think I’m charming?
And if you don’t like Black Sabbath’s “Iron Man,” you’re lying.
So, Ruby, what do you do here? I’d guess lawyer- what with all your wit and whatnot- and I’d guess you’d look phenomenal in a pencil skirt.
Please, you must know that you do possess some charm. Even I’m willing to admit that. I call them like I see them.
Eh, it’s alright I guess. I prefer classical music myself. Far more artistically advanced than anything Mr. Osbourne could produce.
You’d be right - I do look phenomenal in a pencil skirt.
Oh, I wouldn’t doubt that for a second.
Tell me, Ruby, how does one with such a pretty face like yours have such a bleek underestimation of the human condition?
Cream and sugar?
I counter your question with another question: How does one who is so charming manage to wear such outdated, horrible band shirts?
Two creams, one sugar.
Never too late for a pleasure like that, now is it?
Michael Rhodes. Now, two questions. Why the scrooginess and may I buy you a coffee?
I suppose you’re right. And, believe me, it would be quite the pleasure for you to get to know me.
Ruby Caine. Christmas is a wretched season in which people feel the need to express mushy sentiments that are largely false and almost assuredly affected. And yes, you most certainly may.
Huh.
Never knew a woman who didn’t like Christmas.
Well, that’s because you’ve never known me, Scruffy.
Now the New Year fun can begin…
As opposed to the nearly batshit mentality you’ve adopted? C’mon honeybee, you can’t fool me.
Oh, I don’t like to think of it as ‘batshit.’ I prefer the term… non compos mentis. You’ll probably have to look that one up, princess.
Or you could just be pregnant. You are lookin’ a bit pudgy there, sugar.
Aw, is someone projecting her weight insecurities onto others because she’s incapable of dealing with them herself? You might want to talk to a therapist about that one, darling. Along with the multiple other issues going on in that screwy head of yours.
All of this sappy holiday cheer is starting to make me feel a little nauseous.
